I am a thief, and I love to steal. In fact, I love to steal so much that I believe I was made that way. Now, I know many of you will cringe at the idea of stealing, but your traditional view of stealing as wrong is outdated and unfair. Yes, Scripture calls stealing a sin, but I feel the standards have changed over time for people like me who have an incurable bent toward theft. I know that theft has been outlawed in every civilized society going back to Hammurabi, but in our modern age, we must be circumspect about history. After all, those past societies also possessed laws promoting and protecting slavery and were oppressive to women. Can we really believe the veracity of the standards of cultures that would promote such obscenely wrong things as justification for modern standards? I think not.
I know you're still offended that I would choose to embrace stealing. However, stealing makes me happy and I love doing it. Who are you to tell me that I can neither be happy nor do what I love? Perhaps its the term thief. I don't like it either as there is so much negativity and historical inaccuracy tied up in it. I'm going to appropriate another innocuous term from the English language and apply it to helpless people like myself. From now on, I don't want to be known as a thief, I want to be known as "economical." Economy is a good and virtuous thing and appreciated by our society. As one who takes what is not mine, I'm being economical, just not in the traditional way. From now on, I'm going to insist that everyone refer to me, and others who have embraced our true identity as thieves, as economical.
Additionally, I am tired of everyone in society and the Church telling me that my lifestyle choice is wrong. I've discovered my identity; I am who I am and I cannot change. Truly, I feel hated when others tell me I'm wrong because I know in my heart that I am not. I am entitled to a job and a position of influence in society just like everyone else regardless of my lifestyle choice. New laws are needed to protect me from feeling hated or unwanted because of my identity. Telling someone they are wrong, regardless of the standards you use, is indeed hate. As of right now, I am in the process of establishing a non-profit organization, EPAHAD, or Economical People Against Hate And Discrimination. Using our vast monetary resources gained through stealing and sensational endorsements by left-wing politicians and Hollywood icons, EPAHAD will defend those who are economical in every avenue possible. No longer will those in society be able to haplessly label theft as wrong and thieves as wrongdoers. EPAHAD will work to legally silence all those who speak out against theft and those who are economical. If you speak out against us, you will lose your job, your influence, and your dignity. Economy is the wave of the future.
Lastly, the Church. I love God. God made me the way I am. He made me to love stealing, and I cannot deny the way He fashioned me. However, I have major issues with His followers, the Christian Church. The Church keeps using that antiquated book, the Bible, to justify telling me that my lifestyle choice is wrong. I cannot abide them telling me to reject who I am at my very core. I want to be a member of my Church, and given a position of authority in order to proclaim the virtues of the economical lifestyle and how to please God through it. Therefore, I am now demanding that the Church forego all mention of the economical lifestyle in a negative light, and instead, affirm those who practice economy. Scorn for the economical should no longer be tolerated by Church leaders. The Church should sanction us, and proclaim God's blessing upon us. Now some will reject this notion based on Biblical grounds and outdated standards like the Ten Commandments. We live in the modern age, and the Church needs to embrace modern thinking, or it will doom itself to irrelevance.
Thank you for reading my confession. I will not rest until the members of the economical movement are free from discrimination and enjoy pride and a place of prominence in society. Don't stand against this wave of the future!"
Obviously, the above is SATIRE in the extreme. However, it is a true reflection of the tactics employed by the rabid homosexual movement, and so far, those tactics have enjoyed some success. Phil Robertson is another victim of the homosexual machine, which insists that it never be spoken against, but instead affirmed and blessed, regardless of any negative historical evidence or standards one brings to bear. It is no longer right to call something right or wrong, or to insist that we operate our society and churches on Biblical and historical precedence. Phil was neither elegant, nor eloquent, however, the root of what was spoken is Biblical truth.
Here are a few other salient points about the satire above:
- Notice the emphasis on feelings and the heart rather than an adherence to moral standards or historical standards. Feelings change and the heart is deceitful (Jeremiah 17:9). If I based my life solely on feelings my marriage would dissipate, I would lose my job, and I would be quite miserable.
- Notice the redefinition of terms. The word "gay" used to mean happy, but now is associated almost exclusively with the homosexual movement. We would be wise to refrain from using that term.
- Notice the pointing out of others' wrongdoing as justification for the individual's wrongdoing. Yes, the Church and society in times past has failed to adequately address wrong practices, however that is no justification for continued wrongdoing. The Church needs to better address divorce, gluttony, and financial greed. However, those shortcomings are between the Church and God, and are not justification for the Church to lay down its arms over homosexuality or any other patently sinful lifestyle. In emphasizing the failures of others, the homosexual movement is replacing God as the standard of right and wrong with man. Such an emphasis on a man-to-man (or woman) comparison is just as symptomatic of the broken relationships listed in Romans 1:18ff as homosexuality.
- Notice the use of non-profits and the legal system to silence opposition. This is where we're at as a society. No longer can one call a spade a spade without fear of lawsuits and being accused of "hate" crimes.
- Notice the insistence on not only acceptance, but also affirmation. The homosexual movement wants the blessing of society, and more importantly, the Church. I would never verbally or physically mistreat a homosexual person, but I will not nor never proclaim a homosexual lifestyle as justifiable or right in the eyes of God. The homosexual movement knows that if the Church falls (and some liberal denominations have: the American Episcopal Church, PCUSA, et al) that they are on the path to full societal acceptance. There is no telling how far things will go when and if such happens. Pedophilia, bestiality, rape, incest, theft, murder...where does the downfall stop? There are already organizations in place calling for the legal and moral recognition of pedophilia as a legitimate "lifestyle" choice.
- Some are still proclaiming that homosexuality is okay because it is not a "sin against another individual," or "it doesn't harm anyone." However, such logic is again replacing God as the standard for right and wrong with "harm" as the standard and is still a fallacious argument. One only needs to research the statistics for disease, relationship stability, and life-expectancy for practicing homosexuals to realize that homosexuality does harm someone...those who practice it.
I pray for and wish the healing touch of the Holy Spirit upon all those who suffer and struggle under this very real and powerful temptation. I can judge homosexuality as wrong and not do so with hate. God never taught us not to get the speck out of our Brother's eye, but only to do so after we have evaluated our own lives and addressed our own sinfulness (the plank). Pointing out someone's wrongdoing is not hate, and, in fact, may be the ultimate sign of love.
For more thoughts on discerning right from wrong and standing up for God's standards in society and the Church, check out the following:
The Holy Bible
Fool's Gold - By John MacArthur, et al.
God Wants You to Judge
Biblical Discernment II